Today

I was a responsible adult today. I cleaned my apartment up a bit, then went and got my tires replaced. Well, the front two. The front right tire was splitting. I was so scared to even drive the one mile to walmart. But I braved it, and I got there safely, and got the two front tires replaced for under $160. Then I bought groceries, and now the rest of my money is going to go towards gas. But I'm so happy I spent that money on my car. It feels so much better when I drive. I'm so proud of myself.
     Afterwards I got home and cleaned more. I did the dishes and wiped down the sink, counters and table. Then I studied literary criticism for a little while. I feel good. Today was a productive day.
   OH, also, I found out how to sync my zune with my computer so whenever I download a song I like, it automatically adds it to my zune. I'm so happy. I'm on grooveshark right now just adding songs. So happy. :D
      I think I will write more after this second beer. Mike's Hard is so good. omg.

contemplating my cycle.

Not my period cycle. Ew. Just my life in general. And like, my repeating cycle of a life. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Sleep. Do it all again. Nothing ever changes. I hang out with the twins every once in a while but that's it. Nothing really that special. That's probably why I'm so excited about cosplaying with them and going to a con. Because it breaks away from the ordinary. that's why i'm so excited about it. It's different.

I have all these ambitions bottled up inside me and I go over every detail of each one in my mind as I work through the day but I can't find a way to actually get to them. They're just far away mirages on the sand in this barren desert and I'm so thirsty.....

Last night was so much fun. I don't regret it at all. After 8 1/2 of work that flew by me like a train, I went over to the twin's house. We drank a little bit and smoked hookah. I smoked too fast and almost threw up. But they didn't know. We watched Mean girls one and two. Then we talked about cosplay and We all said arcade LOL characters and I'm so excited for this one! I'm going to be cosplaying the photo on the left!! I've never done this before so I'm pretty excited. I get to wear a hula hoop hanging from my waist and throw around a bouncy ball. We might even perform in the masquerade and do a dance or something and I can't wait to hula hoop while balancing the ball on my head. CAN'T WAIT.
      I didn't get home till around four in the morning though. I got up at ten. I hope I survive today! I only work six and a half hours so it'll be okay.
      Oh and Devon gave me more shirts and I'm in love with the huge cardigan she gave me because it's very warm and heavy. I wish I could wear them to work today but it's okay because after work I can wear it around the house. Maybe, if we can allow the spending, me and Parker could go on a date? I miss him terribly and I need some alone time with him outside of the house.
      So there's this fundraising going on for Darren Wilson?? What the fuck? I can't fathom why anyone would want to support the killer of an unarmed kid. I just can't. The rage, it's too much. Why doesn't everyone just take Darren Wilson and shove him in jail until the legal stuff is all figured out? Then he can stay in jail for the rest of his life! And then all the people in Ferguson can triumph. And we can all live happily ever after.

Last day, no Bueno.

       I'm not even spending it with the twins either.  I'm just sitting here at the custard shop,  bored out of my mind.  The rain has passed and yet nobody has come in the last hour.  I hope it stays like this though.  Super easy! 
        Me and the other girl here keep talking about college and it makes me want to go back to school school bad.  Like maybe while I'm sitting at my desk doing telemarketing in the morning,  I could also do a free course online and study something.  What would I study though?
       Well at least after today my schedule will clear up a little bit and I'll be able to do me thing in my free time. 

Brutal.

        That's what yesterday was.  Absolutely brutal.  It was a full shift with lunch,  which was nice,  but our schedules are so fucked up.  The Albertsons down the street is closing so we are getting a lot of their customers,  and it's back to school season.  But our schedule only had two cashiers for the busiest part of the day.  So that was fun.  I worked four hours straight without a break.  I got all the difficult customers and had to do three things at once when people had requests while I was scanning things.  I nearly fell over when I got home. 
       Thankfully,  today will be much easier.  I hope. 

I love boots.

       The fact that I found a pair of boots, that look amazing, that fit me is mind boggling. I'm a size 5 in the US, and that's the line between kid and adult sizes. So, I can never find shoes in my size. Until today! They don't look like these on the left (Oh god I wish they did though) but the ones I found were only $35, so why would I pass up that deal? I also bought a new bra, some panties, and some earrings.
     While I was there at K-mart, I saw my old supervisor, Liz, being trained by some employee while opening boxes. It was a shock to say the least. She has cut her hair short, it's still that ugly blonde color that some mexicans dye their hair too. She looked weak as usual, and I don't mean physically. She was always weak-willed. She was nice, but influenced by her family members too easily. And she dodged me after making plans with me to take photos of her family for Christmas. So I don't like her that much. But yeah I don't think she'll last long there either.
     Dustin wasn't there today. I was planning on signing up for the rewards card with him, but I didn't get to. The way it works there is, if you get more people to sign up on the cards, the more hours you get. It's a fucking ridiculous system for a workplace like that, but I'll do what I can to help him out. His uncle is tight on money until his new restaurant opens up the street, so Dustin needs as many hours as he can get.
     Speaking of hours, F4L (Food 4 less, a Kroger grocery store) gave me almost 40 hours this week!! I'm so excited but at the same time I'm going "Fuuuuuck I just want to sleeeeeeeep" but oh well. Money is money! Especially with this vacation coming up. I want to spend all the money! Game stop Expo will be fun I hope. I know Parker is going to splurge the fuck out there. There are like three new video games coming out, and I'm sure he got the super editions of them, and they're gonna go to a gamestop while in Cali to get them and then play them after going to the con. Fun. I just want to take pictures and meet new people.
    I am now editing photos of the boots I bought and going to post them on my tumblr! :)
http://messmeriz-ed.tumblr.com/

Boss's conversations: #1

"You had a bubble butt.... You did! You had this ass that I could just pour water on."


WTF

The things I hear my boss say when he calls people. I hope that was his wife!

Bye

  So I have this stalker online..... I regret ever talking to them at all. Like, they'll find me. They'll search me out. And then follow me without talking to me at all. They're this annoying, infuriating presence constantly following me wherever I go on the internet. It's pathetic. It's sad and pathetic and makes me angry. Like, I don't care about your fake split personality or your boring life. I've got two jobs to work and barely enough time to even notice you.

      So I'll be blocking you from everything now. Good luck trying to find me bitch!

         This has been such a long week. I kind of want to tell the Custard shop that I don't want to work next week. But that little bit of extra money at the end of the month will help me out, I'm sure. I'm just so exhausted. Yesterday I wasn't at work for an hour before I broke down and cried in the bathroom. At the office job too! The easiest one! I tried to get some confirmation numbers from some hotels, and they wouldn't let me, saying that I have to be the person on the reservation to do it, so I just hung up and went to the bathroom and cried for like, ten minutes. Then I went back to the office, and told my boss that I needed to go home, I wasn't feeling well. And started crying in front of him. I'm such an idiot! I'm working myself too much. Well, I went back home and slept for like, five more hours and was good enough to go to the custard shop last night. Thank God.
           I could have gone in early today for the custard shop, but I decided not to. I'll go in at my scheduled time, so I can see my boyfriend before I go to work!

        Ended up coming into work early anyways. Someone else decided not to come in! Well at least I'm getting paid. 

well

       Today I woke up to my alarm, lied there for a minute thinking about my new job, and I got excited. I am excited to work at this job. My first day was yesterday and I loved it. Five hours felt like two hours there. All I do is make phone calls, keep track of who doesn't even answer, and try to get leads. We get people hotel rooms for conventions, and it's nice. I actually love this job. I still don't want to quit mr. D's, but I have to and I will today after work.
      Robin Williams died yesterday. The autopsy is today so they'll tell everyone how. I don't want to believe that it was a drug induced suicide. I don't want to believe that at all. He was my childhood. Flubber was my favorite movie. Aladdin too. I'm very sad. It just reminds me that all my favorite actors are going to die some day. I don't want them too, but they aren't immortal.
      I will write more later today I think. I just woke up blehhh.

Our limbs slither around each other as we settle into sleep.

Back at it again

         Welp, looks like I'm back here again, typing in this white box at eleven 'o clock at night. I should be sleeping, I need to get up early, but nah man, that's too main stream. Sleep is for the weak.
        Right now I'm listening to Brand New's album Daisy, which I've never heard before. Beautiful, as always. I used to listen to them when I was in high school and angsty and in love. I'm still in love and I still stress over some things (I'm an adult living on my own in north america. duh.) so of course this band is always welcome into my ears. I haven't gotten around to adding any music to my phone lately (It's currently an HTC One.) because it's too much of a hassle and also because I'm getting my boyfriend's phone soon. (Iphone 5)
        So since I've last posted here, I've turned 22, gotten a car, a second job, hated that job, left that job, and I'm currently working at a custard shop as my second job. Though..... I'm starting a third job tomorrow? For two weeks? I'm going to start this telemarketing job with a friend of the family tomorrow, and I'm really excited because I've always wanted a desk job. So I'll start that one tomorrow, and then after I get off I'll call the custard shop and put in my two weeks. I mean, it's nice that my friend got me a position there, but I already know I won't go ANYWHERE with that job ever and winter is coming soon which means it'll be dead every single day. So I'm looking at the long term here and this desk job has so much potential. $10/hr  plus commission. Get hype son.
         I just feel bad because Desiree put herself on the line to get me that job and everyone is leaving so they kind of need me. I don't want to do this to them so soon after they hired me but I have to. I can't pass up this opportunity. I also can't juggle three jobs, no matter how hard I want to try.
            Now I've just found this band, Soap&Skin, thanks to tumblr, and I'm in love. Me and The Devil is amazing. Music is fueling me tonight. And Maya Angelou. I almost bought a magazine dedicated entirely to her life works and accomplishments. I'm currently reading a PDF file of "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" and it's okay so far. I do read the occasional autobiography, but Maya has seven!
      God I'm such a book worm. I'm currently reading "The Constant Princess" but I have like, four other books I'm reading, and a million others I want to read.

     So I'm not crazy for almost falling asleep and then being shocked awake by a voice clearly shouting my name in urgency? That's a normal thing? Thanks internet.
    And with that, i think it's time I sleep.